Letting the fire burn to hard to soon...

Well sorry for missing the last couple of days. Anyway, I missed Monday mornings spin class at the Y but I did do my 1000 yard swim with a 42 min bike ride and I added a mile swim at 7:15 pace that afternoon. I felt good and really got out some negative energy, which I will talk about later. Yesterday, Tuesday, I had some more of that negative energy so I went all out on an out and back near the house. 2.43 miles in 16:16. I was pumped about that. I think I would have been real close to beating down that 20 min barrier! Went and had some sushi with the wife afterwards and chilled the rest of the night.

Ok the negative energy. I have really struggled with this recently. I had a training partner latch on to another guy to see if he would enjoy tri's. Cool another guy to ride is what I thought. Then the negative comments came from them. Like talking about my Ironman and how much pain I would be in during the run. Other comments ensued! I have no problem with this comments when they are first said. I joke about them and have a laugh. It is the next day when I start really chewing on them and festering over them. It drives me to train hard. Heck that is the reason I lost weight was because some guys at work said I was obese. Well I think recently it has driven my fire to burn really high at specifically at the person that made the negative comments. OK that means I have crossed the line and this is something I have really struggled with. Because if you think about it the comments are probably not intended to be negative but I take them that way. I pray that my friends don't see me as some type of jerk and that I can control these feelings of anger. I shut people out when I don't know what else to do. That is wrong of me because I am called to show LOVE to everyone. I pray that I can do this and lift others up above myself. It is really hard when you really want to pound these people into the ground when you go to do a tri. This is the black fire that burns inside that doesn't have anything positive, it doesn't shine light so you can see and it burns if you touch it or get to close and that is what it wants to do! It draws you in and mesmerizes and once it has you, you are scarred! There is healing required and I don't know if I can do that right now because the wound is fresh. I enjoy training with them but maybe it is best I not. I don't know how to tell them this but maybe they will get the hint. We will see and I will keep you updated.